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Friday joke.....

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Friday joke.....

Old 02-04-2019, 05:58 AM
  #761  
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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?”“My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your mean cat!”
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Old 02-10-2019, 10:58 AM
  #762  
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Old 02-17-2019, 06:53 PM
  #763  
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Old 02-19-2019, 12:24 PM
  #764  
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Statistics just released from Statistics Canada and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, revealing that:

North American, Australian, New Zealanders and British men between 60 and 80 years of age, will on average, have sex two to three times per week, (and a small number a lot more), whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will ave sex only once or twice per year
if they are lucky.

This has come as very upsetting news to both me and most of my buddies at the curling and golf club, as none of us had any idea that we were Japanese.
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Old 02-19-2019, 09:20 PM
  #765  
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An old Pilot sat down in Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’

He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs, Aeroncas, T-28s, A330s, flew in the Pacific with the Navy and later in the Desert Storm, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, have been flying airlines international for a quarter of a century, so I guess I am a pilot – what about you?’

She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.’

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked, ‘Are you a real pilot?’

He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’
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