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Old 08-31-2016, 07:37 AM   #641
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(Don't forget the other 2 posts on previous page)


Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant.

While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her
drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, ‘Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seen nobody done it before.'
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Old 10-13-2016, 07:55 PM   #642
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Voted the best Australian Joke


A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast
He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.

'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'
The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead.
Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'
The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn.
But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.
The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'
He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or five crabs in it.
'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that...
So what's the other possible good news?
'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 PM tonight and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!
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Old 10-26-2016, 07:24 AM   #643
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Old 10-27-2016, 05:14 AM   #644
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LOL!
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Old 10-28-2016, 02:30 PM   #645
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Old 10-31-2016, 09:54 AM   #646
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Chronologically speaking this should have been posted prior to the above.

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2016/10/3...llary-clinton/
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Old 11-02-2016, 11:27 PM   #647
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Dude goes out last night for a Halloween party dressed as a chicken.
He meets an attractive girl dressed as an egg.
Later in the night, a lifelong question of so many was answered:

It was the chicken.
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Old 11-03-2016, 05:18 AM   #648
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Dude goes out last night for a Halloween party dressed as a chicken.
He meets an attractive girl dressed as an egg.
Later in the night, a lifelong question of so many was answered:

It was the chicken.

Hahahaha!!!!
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Old 11-17-2016, 12:18 PM   #649
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1. What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

2. Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

3. I tried walking up a hill without a watch but had neither the time nor the inclination.

4. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.

5. What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow? A reprimand from the Scientific Integrity and Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

6. Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation.

7. A German asks for a martini. "Dry?" says the bartender. "Nein, just one."

8. Two women walk into a bar and discuss the Bechdel test.

9. Pavlov is sitting at a bar, when all of the sudden the phone rings. Pavlov gasps, "Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs".

10. How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

11. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
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Old 12-13-2016, 06:59 AM   #650
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Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa’s flying skills to the test…

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolph’s nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa’s weight and balance calculations for the sled’s enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa’s surprise, a shotgun.

“What’s that for?!?” asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, “I’m not supposed to tell you this ahead of time,” as he leaned over to whisper in Santa’s ear, “but you’re gonna lose an engine on takeoff.”
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Old 12-13-2016, 07:05 AM   #651
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It is night over Las Vegas, information Hotel is current and Mooney 33Whiskey is unfamiliar and talking to approach control.

Approach: "33Whiskey confirm you have hotel."
33W: "Uhhhmmm, we're flying into McCarren International. Uhhhhmmm, we don't have a hotel room yet."
Approach was laughing too hard to respond. Next call:

Approach: "United 55 descent to flight level 220."
United 55: :United 55 down to flight level 220, we don't have a hotel room either".
United55: "
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Old 12-13-2016, 07:15 AM   #652
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Old 12-13-2016, 07:27 AM   #653
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The great airliner A330, ran into some particularly nasty weather. The passengers, certain they were going to crash and die, screamed in terror as the plane was pummeled by wind, rain, hail and lightning.

At the height of the storm, a young woman jumped up and exclaimed, "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and die like an animal, strapped into a chair. If I am going to die, let me at least die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A hand is raised in the back, and a muscular man starts to walk up to her seat. As he approaches her, he takes off his shirt. She can see the man's muscles even in the poor lighting of the plane. He stands in front of her, shirt in hand and says to her, "I can make you feel like a woman before you die. Are you interested?" Eagerly, she shakes her head and exclaims, "Yes!" The man hands her his shirt and says, "Here, iron this."
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Old 12-13-2016, 07:30 AM   #654
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Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
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Old 12-13-2016, 07:28 PM   #655
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Old 12-15-2016, 07:39 AM   #656
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I spotted an advertisement in the paper from an outfit promising guaranteed weight loss. I called the company and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss programme.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old girl dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'

Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, I finally gave up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, I weighed myself and am delighted to find I’d Iost 10 lbs. as promised, so I called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound programme.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman I have ever seen in my life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.

Well, I'm out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and I do my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens and I'm gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weigh myself, I discover that I have lost another 20 lbs. as promised. So I decide to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50 pound programme.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous programme."

"Absolutely," I replied, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I open it I find a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you,... you're mine."

I lost 63 pounds that week.
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Old 01-01-2017, 01:53 PM   #657
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Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
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Old 01-01-2017, 01:56 PM   #658
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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I was feeling a bit down, I went to a therapist a few times, at a hundred bucks a pop. But then I realized that no therapy session would ever cheer me up half as much as if I was just strolling along and found a hundred dollar bill.
As quoted in Psychology Today (July 2006)

"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was... conscious. … But I love her from the hair on her head to the tag on her toes." [1]

I was in a bar a few nights ago, moving from stool to stool, trying to get lucky... But there was no gum under any of them. And I hear giggling behind me. At first I don't mind, but the giggling continues... Finally, I thought "What's so amusing?" I turn around, and these two guys, for the last, oh, half hour or so, have been throwing darts into my head. It's a good thing I heard them! I said, "Look, you bums," 'cause I was angry now, "As soon as this game is over, hit the road!" But as I left that bar, one thing stuck in my mind...

Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: "A truck!"

How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.

I was walking down Fifth Avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: "Well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?" And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.

New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.

People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.

When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!"
One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun..

My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and... placing bets...

When I was ten, my family moved to Downers Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.

You know, at parties, people always ask, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi!
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Old 01-06-2017, 02:29 PM   #659
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Tech Support in Relationships



The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship with her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply which was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!
The query:


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed, Desperate.



The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,


First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!'
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Old 01-12-2017, 04:46 PM   #660
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The pilot left home about 8:30 a.m. to do some work in his hanger at the airport with his friends. On the way out the door he answered his wife's "what time will you be home?" question with "probably about 1:30, I'll have lunch at the airport."
1:30 came & went, 3:00 passed, 6:15, still not home, finally at about 7:00 pm he rolls in the driveway, and presents his wife with a pizza, and begins the apologetic story:
" I finished cleaning the plane about 11:30, had lunch, and I started home, when alongside the road I saw this busty attractive girl with a flat tire on her car. I stopped to help, got the tire changed, and looked around for a place to wash my hands. She offered money, but I refused, so she suggested that I at least allow her to buy me a beer. She said there's a tap room just up the road, and they have a restroom, you can clean up a bit. I agreed to stop, we had an IPA, then a Belgium, then a couple porters, and I realized that this girl was not only pretty, she was very friendly, and a good companion to spend time with. Before I knew it, we were in the motel next door having sex. And that is why I am so late getting home."
His wife looked him right in the eye and said "don't lie to me;

YOU WENT FLYING, DIDN'T YOU?"
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Old 01-18-2017, 07:52 PM   #661
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Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which mistakenly wandered into a
man's head.
She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she
called, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, still no answer. Now the female brain cell started
to feel alone and scared and yelled, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Finally she heard a faint voice from far, far away. "Hello!! ... we're down here "
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Old 01-24-2017, 10:56 AM   #662
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Old 01-25-2017, 06:43 PM   #663
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George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.
God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?”
Bush replies: “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American nation and so on ...”
God is impressed by Bush and tells him: “Great, come sit in the chair on my right.”
God goes to Obama and asks: “What do you believe in?”
Obama replies: “I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc. ...”
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him: “Well done, come sit in the chair on my left.”
Finally, God asks Trump: “What do you believe in”?
Trump replied: “I believe you're sitting in my chair.”
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Old 01-31-2017, 07:53 AM   #664
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John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!"



That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!



He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."


She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"



John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."


"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.


The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."



She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
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Old 02-07-2017, 12:16 AM   #665
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The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper...

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido,
has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00.

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job
in the first place.

It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would
not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing
$10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!”

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signals back, "I don't know what you are talking about.”

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know
what you're talking about.”

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says,
"Ask him again or I'll kill him!”

The lawyer signals to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him.”

Guido trembles and signals, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?”

The lawyer replies, "He says f--k you, you don't have the ***** to pull the trigger."
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Old 02-07-2017, 12:16 AM   #666
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Late Night Vet Call

A dog lover, whose female dog came "in heat," was concerned about keeping it and her male separated. But she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.

However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.

I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."

"Do you think that will work?" she asked.

"It just worked for me." he replied.
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Old 02-27-2017, 02:16 PM   #667
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Old 02-28-2017, 05:06 AM   #668
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If that is the way they played tennis maybe I'd watch it more!!
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Old 02-28-2017, 11:39 AM   #669
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I was standing at the bar of Terminal 3 in the International Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer.

I asked him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says "No, I don't. And furthermore, why the hell would you ask me that? Is it because I'm Chinese?

"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer, you jerk"
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Old 03-01-2017, 07:35 PM   #670
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Cannibals were employed by the Navy

A bit of Naval history for you. To put in context, as a sea story it must begin: Now this is no s**t.

Five cannibals were employed by the Navy as translators during one of the island campaigns of World War II.

When the Commanding Admiral of the task force welcomed the cannibals he said, You're all part of our team now. We will compensate you well for your services, and you can eat any of the rations that the Sailors are eating. So please do not indulge yourselves by eating a Sailor.

The cannibals agreed.

Four weeks later, the Admiral returned and said, You're all working hard, and I'm very satisfied with every one of you. However, one of our Chief Petty Officers has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?

The cannibals all shook their heads. After the Admiral left, the leader of the cannibals turned to the others and said, Which of you idiots ate the Chief?

A hand raised hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals replied, You idiot! For four weeks we've been eating Ensigns, Lieutenants, Lieutenant Commanders, Commanders, and even one Captain, and no one noticed a thing. And then YOU had to go and eat a Chief.
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Old 03-14-2017, 02:41 PM   #671
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A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "in HD" was not the right answer.
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Old 03-16-2017, 06:02 AM   #672
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Originally Posted by cosmomiller View Post
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "in HD" was not the right answer.
LOL!!
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Old 04-01-2017, 10:20 PM   #673
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Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private "OFF LIMITS" area on all aircraft carriers. Addressing all boat personnel at Pearl, CINCPAC advised, "female sleeping quarters will be "out-of-bounds" for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 the first time." He continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $500. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a Marine Gunnery Sergeant from the security detail assigned to the ship stood up in the crowd and inquired...

"How much for a season pass?"
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Old 04-07-2017, 04:57 PM   #674
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The man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife


He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She
sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink..

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

She answered



'THE TEETH.'
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Old 04-08-2017, 04:19 AM   #675
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Borrowed, but funny (and I can relate)

When you're 70

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"

I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"

She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".

I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches...but,

When you’re seventy...............who cares?

**********

I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."

Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”

I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."

When you’re seventy.............who cares?

***********

I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”

I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”

Cost me a fat lip, but...

When you’re seventy...............who cares?

**********

I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.

"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...

When you’re seventy...............who cares?

*********

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

When you’re seventy...............who cares?

**********

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table

I said, "Good legs."

The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"

I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me 6 more stitches, but...

When you’re seventy...............who cares
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Old 05-02-2017, 09:52 AM   #676
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Two geeky students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

The second student replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”

The first student nodded approvingly, “Good choice! The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.”
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Old 06-02-2017, 09:24 AM   #677
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2 Monkeys Were Paid Unequally; watch What Happens.....


http://www.upworthy.com/2-monkeys-we...ppens-next?g=3
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Old 07-23-2017, 11:23 AM   #678
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“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”

George Burns
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Old 07-23-2017, 11:29 AM   #679
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A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Groucho Marx
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Old 07-23-2017, 12:02 PM   #680
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Suicide Counselor




A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high bridge, about to jump off.
An old homeless guy who was wandering by stopped and said, "Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
She screamed, "NO! Bug off you filthy old bastard!"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay then, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."
She didn't jump.
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